You are Not an Accident

Day 1 back at school was good. Students and teachers alike always seem to have a hard time coming back after long breaks. Many students confessed to late night PlayStation Action or too much time texting or simply to use to sleeping til noon (as if two weeks could form a new and lasting habit..... well....maybe two weeks is enough because I had a hard time getting up too), hence the reason they were unable to function and why they forgot all about math. Middle school students are great!

I love Norman Public Schools. I love the things we can offer, the services we can provide. I attended a high school very similar to Norman, so I am a little bias. I have seen some not so good schools. It always makes my heart ache just a little when I see a student with the potential to succeed (but also the potential to fall the other way very quickly) leave us. Not always because where they go is worse or not as good as Norman, but because I don't like not knowing, not being able to help.

I learned today that one of my students, who always brings a smile to my face, transferred to an Oklahoma City school. This student is on the fringes. I am sad to see them go. I pray that they are able to find the right teacher, mentor, and friends at the new school to keep the progress they have made with us going. They has come a long way, with behavior and academics, and I hate to say goodbye. Said student was in our charge for a season... for a purpose.

On a brighter note, I was very excited to speak with our Language Arts Coach today about another one of my struggling students. Said student is probably on a 1st grade reading level, if that. This student struggles with basic phonics and phonemic awareness (all you teacher types will understand) as well as behavior issues. It was good to bounce ideas and get some advice as to how to help. Will this student ever be on grade level enough to pass a standardized test.. maybe, maybe not. Can we help them learn the skills to be successful. Absolutely. Said student has come along way...and I am excited to help them go further!

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Purpose Driven Life Day 2 - Seriously, I think I am getting very sentimental. PDL is a 3 minute little mini-lesson...and every time I think I could write a book about it....

As we march on toward Lil Miss's 2nd birthday, I am amazed at how her little life has been so special and protected. Her birth parents may have thought they "wanted" a baby, a "family," but did not take the steps to protect her before and after she was born. But God knew. I am daily amazed at her progress, her abilities, her smile, her love. She had many things going against her even before she was born, in man's eyes. But in God's eyes, she has always been perfect for His purpose. "You saw me before I was born, every day is recorded in Your book." It was not a mistake that she was born or that she was brought into our lives.

God's motive for creating us was love. God is love. He is perfect love. He didn't make us because He needed more love, but because He wanted us. Being a parent, I see things through a different lens than I ever have before. I can never understand the love God has for me fully, but as I am beginning to understand the love of a parent more every day, I feel myself drawn into a deeper understanding of His love.

One the flip side, it took me a LONG time to understand my purpose and that I was created for God's purpose. Even when I was active in my church youth group, serving overseas on mission trips, and counseling others in His word, I still questioned His purpose for me. Many of my close friends (and now anyone who reads this...) know that for many years, I thought about and even planned how I would take my own life.... and during most of that time, I was serving in my church, praying with teens about these kind of issues in their lives. Ironic huh. I don't know that I would say I was being hypocritical. I believed (as I still do) that Jesus could heal and save others. I just had a hard time believing it for myself. God used good friends and a supportive family to bring me back to my senses, although it was a long and rough process at times. And I would be lying if I said I didn't still think about it on occasion (very rare occasions these days). When I listen to and read about how God has a purpose for my life, I think about how blinded I was by my own shortcomings, my own weakness, and my own emotions. God is the reason I am here, the reason I am who I am.

Isaiah 44:2 "I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born." I praise God that I can finally believe that for myself.