Tonight, my thoughts and prayers are with all the parents who have adopted children and teens. I am specifically talking about parents who chose to take into their family a child who has known another family, who had/has a mother and a father that they loved, whether it was a healthy environment or not. A child who may have sisters and brothers they have already grown up with and held onto for support in the midst of chaos. A child who, for various reasons, have been removed from or lost their family due to circumstances out of their control.
To love unconditionally a child you have since infancy, even if they are not biologically yours is one thing.
But...
To love unconditionally a child who comes to you with a past. With more history and baggage than any adult should have, let alone a 6 year old, a 12 year old, or a 16 should have.
To bring a child into your family, knowing one day they may turn there back and resent you.
To hold and comfort and support a child whose world has just fallen apart and help them put it back together.
To not know what unseen scars your child may have or how deep they may run.
To all of you, these words of Christ are especially true: "Whatever you do unto the least of these, you do unto me."
I don't know if I could do it.
God bless and keep you.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Statistical Soapbox
OKLAHOMA CITY (January 25, 2011) -- New results from the 2009 National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) released today show most Oklahoma students are not proficient in science. Seventy-two percent of Oklahoma fourth-graders taking the test and 75 percent of eighth-graders taking the test fell below “proficient” - meaning they scored at “basic” or “below basic.”
State Superintendent of Public Instruction Janet Barresi said the scores come just as Oklahoma students are entering a new testing period for NAEP, beginning this week and running until March 4. Barresi urged the more than 300 Oklahoma schools selected for NAEP testing to ensure that teachers and parents understand the critical importance of the exams.
The science assessment is administered to a sample of students from each state by the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), which is an arm of the U.S. Department of Education. NAEP measures students‟ knowledge and abilities in the areas of physical science, life science, and Earth and space sciences. Only 28 percent of Oklahoma fourth-graders scored at “proficient” or “advanced,” while only 24 percent of eighth-graders scored at the same levels. In each case, Oklahoma scored four percentage points below the national average."
State Superintendent of Public Instruction Janet Barresi said the scores come just as Oklahoma students are entering a new testing period for NAEP, beginning this week and running until March 4. Barresi urged the more than 300 Oklahoma schools selected for NAEP testing to ensure that teachers and parents understand the critical importance of the exams.
The science assessment is administered to a sample of students from each state by the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), which is an arm of the U.S. Department of Education. NAEP measures students‟ knowledge and abilities in the areas of physical science, life science, and Earth and space sciences. Only 28 percent of Oklahoma fourth-graders scored at “proficient” or “advanced,” while only 24 percent of eighth-graders scored at the same levels. In each case, Oklahoma scored four percentage points below the national average."
Okay...just a few point to ponder tonight about this article because it really irritates me.
The test is not designed to be used as a gauge for states to use. That is not the purpose of this assessment. That is why it is only given to a sample of students. It is not based on a curriculum. It is not a test you prepare kids for or teach towards. It was originally designed to identify the top 20% of students. I think the fact that we were so close to the national average is a positive thing, not something to be ignored or down played to use to support ones agenda. And if a person in a political office is going to use such data, I would appreciate a little bit more back ground knowledge. Don't let it become a scare tactic and use it for the shock value.
Oh...and maybe define the terms. It might be important to know that "basic" means that they have a fairly good understanding, but are not in the upper 25%. "Basic" doesn't mean "failed." Again, once you understand the purpose and goals of the test, you have a better understanding of the terminology.
In fact - the 4th grade test in any given subject can pull content from the listed science topics at anywhere from a 1st grade to 8th grade level. The 8th grade test pulls from 4th grade through 12th grade material. It is the same for all the content areas.
SO...imagine your 4th grader shows up at school one day. Her district has been "randomly" chosen out of those in her state, her school has been "randomly" chosen out of those in her district, and then she has been "randomly" chosen out of her peers to take a test. She is ushered out of her class, with probably little to no notice and put in a room with other randomly selected students and given a test in a format and with content she may never have seen.
If I have a state mandated, district supported curriculum that may or may not match up to the NAEP framework (the vague outline for all that could possibly be on the test)...which do I teach? If the NAEP test gives open ended, free response questions and all we give in our state is multiple choice, what will our students be comfortable with?
My irritation is not the test itself but when politicians and states use the statistics to bolster their own agenda with little to no regard for the meaning. We, as a consuming public in general, are not very well informed sometimes and politicians (ON both sides) use this to their advantage. It really bothers me.
Do our public schools need a face lift? Absolutly!!
Do we need national standards and national assessments? Absolutely.
Do we need to increase the rigor and quality of those standards? Heck Yes!
Do we need to hold teachers AND students accountable? Well of course!
Do we have any clue how to do that effectively? Apparently not.
Does any body have a magic wand?!? :)
:) I am done. I really do love being a teacher. I just get irritated sometimes.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Stolen post...from MrsMorris..but she says what I have feeling so much better!
Last night I had a really good talk with God. It was one of those talks that consisted more of weeping than actual praying. In the midst of the Kleenex and mascara trails on my face, I came to the realization that I have not been living a Proverbs 3:5 life recently. I have not been trusting Him with all of my heart; I have been leaning on my own understanding. I’ve relied on my own feeble smarts. BAD IDEA!
The solution He showed me through my mucus-filled quiet time to lead me to the path of change is a verse that keeps coming up in life: “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
I have to stop everything I’m doing if I want to hear from Him. This seems elemental, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult. Stop doing the laundry. Stop watching whatever is on TV. Stop playing Words With Friends. Yes, God is more important!
I used to be so good at this habit, but I have grown out of it. Now my goal is to grow back into the habit of being still, and knowing that He is God – knowing that I can do nothing about my current circumstances, but He is All Powerful and All-Sufficient. So my #1 goal for 2011 is to have at least one “date night” with God every week. This is an extension from my daily quiet time. This is an extended period of time to enjoy His company, and to be still.
The solution He showed me through my mucus-filled quiet time to lead me to the path of change is a verse that keeps coming up in life: “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
I have to stop everything I’m doing if I want to hear from Him. This seems elemental, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult. Stop doing the laundry. Stop watching whatever is on TV. Stop playing Words With Friends. Yes, God is more important!
I used to be so good at this habit, but I have grown out of it. Now my goal is to grow back into the habit of being still, and knowing that He is God – knowing that I can do nothing about my current circumstances, but He is All Powerful and All-Sufficient. So my #1 goal for 2011 is to have at least one “date night” with God every week. This is an extension from my daily quiet time. This is an extended period of time to enjoy His company, and to be still.
Friday, January 21, 2011
We are all children...
I am still listening to "Purpose Driven Life...for Commuters." Short snippets of wisdom from the book. Yesterday's snippet was short, sweet, and simple. It was also a topic that I know I take for granted...what it means to be a child of God and to bring Him pleasure as His child.
It reminded me that our first purpose in life is to bring pleasure to God just as a child brings pleasure to his/her parent. Since I started on my journey with Christ back in middle school, I have know that I was a "child of God." I remember I heard someone pray using "Abba Father" and "Daddy God." Those references made God seem more real, more close, and more approachable and I started using them when I prayed. Although ABBA was a Swedish Rock band from the 70's, it is also Greek for Father. Praying to my Abba, my Daddy God, my Heavenly Father has always felt right. It is hard to explain, but when I come to Him in prayer as His child, it seems to bring me closer and makes me feel like He is listening.
I don't think I truly understood the metaphor of God the Father until I was a parent. Being a parent has brought me closer in relationship with my Heavenly Father. I can't speak as a parent who has given birth to my "own child." Our Lil Miss is going to be adopted into our family, grafted into our family, just as we have been grafted into the family of God. I love this little girl more than life itself. I love watching her grow, watching her learn. Her smile makes me smile, her tears and hurt can bring me to tears. When she misbehaves and throws a little fit, although frustrated, I truly just want to help her learn to do and be better. (ask me again when she is 16....and her misbehavior is more than throwing a sippy cup on the floor or throwing a fit when it is time to get dressed....).
This is the way God sees me. I am His child. He takes pleasure in my happiness. He wants me to be happy, healthy, and whole. He wants me to use what he has given me for His Glory. He lets me make my own decisions and wants me to learn from them. When they are good decisions, He rejoices with me. When they are bad decisions, He crys with me and wants me to learn. He is there to help me get back on track. He forgives, forgets, and helps me move forward. When I am hurt, lonely, sad, or dejected, He holds me and comforts me, just as a Daddy holds and comforts His child...just as I hold and comfort my little one.
How humbling is that!
I am more than thankful for my mother and my father. I am blessed that I had them. And my heart aches for all the children who do not have an earthly mother or father to show them love and acceptance and security. These children hold a special place in our Heavenly Father's heart. They are at the heart of Jesus' words "Whatever you do unto the least of these, you do unto me."(Matt 25:40). But that is a whole other blog entry ;)
Some points to ponder from Purpose Driven Life:
It reminded me that our first purpose in life is to bring pleasure to God just as a child brings pleasure to his/her parent. Since I started on my journey with Christ back in middle school, I have know that I was a "child of God." I remember I heard someone pray using "Abba Father" and "Daddy God." Those references made God seem more real, more close, and more approachable and I started using them when I prayed. Although ABBA was a Swedish Rock band from the 70's, it is also Greek for Father. Praying to my Abba, my Daddy God, my Heavenly Father has always felt right. It is hard to explain, but when I come to Him in prayer as His child, it seems to bring me closer and makes me feel like He is listening.
I don't think I truly understood the metaphor of God the Father until I was a parent. Being a parent has brought me closer in relationship with my Heavenly Father. I can't speak as a parent who has given birth to my "own child." Our Lil Miss is going to be adopted into our family, grafted into our family, just as we have been grafted into the family of God. I love this little girl more than life itself. I love watching her grow, watching her learn. Her smile makes me smile, her tears and hurt can bring me to tears. When she misbehaves and throws a little fit, although frustrated, I truly just want to help her learn to do and be better. (ask me again when she is 16....and her misbehavior is more than throwing a sippy cup on the floor or throwing a fit when it is time to get dressed....). This is the way God sees me. I am His child. He takes pleasure in my happiness. He wants me to be happy, healthy, and whole. He wants me to use what he has given me for His Glory. He lets me make my own decisions and wants me to learn from them. When they are good decisions, He rejoices with me. When they are bad decisions, He crys with me and wants me to learn. He is there to help me get back on track. He forgives, forgets, and helps me move forward. When I am hurt, lonely, sad, or dejected, He holds me and comforts me, just as a Daddy holds and comforts His child...just as I hold and comfort my little one.
How humbling is that!
I am more than thankful for my mother and my father. I am blessed that I had them. And my heart aches for all the children who do not have an earthly mother or father to show them love and acceptance and security. These children hold a special place in our Heavenly Father's heart. They are at the heart of Jesus' words "Whatever you do unto the least of these, you do unto me."(Matt 25:40). But that is a whole other blog entry ;)
Some points to ponder from Purpose Driven Life:
5 Things that Make God Smile
1) When I Love Him above all else
2) When I Trust Him completely, even when I can't see the big picture.
3) When I Obey Him wholeheartedly, obedience unlocks understanding. Even if I don't know the why or when I can't see the whole picture. Trust and Obey go hand in hand.
4) When I Praise Him for who He is and Thank Him for what He does
5) When I Use the talents He has given me.
Verse for the day: Psalm 147:11
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Growing up
I had several of those "She is getting so big" moments in the last few days watching Lil Miss. Many of my friends talk about how it sometimes makes them sad seeing their little ones growing up, but I love watching every new discovery, hearing every new phrase, seeing every new dance.
She is growing up and is doing so incredibly well. She understands so much and seems to soak in new words and experiences. Playing the piano the other day she was swaying to her music and popping her shoulders. I also walked in on her giving her baby kisses in her highchair.Her new thing is throwing Tea Parties. She brings her Tinkerbell tea set out of the closet (where I hid it) and says "Mama party. Sit here with me." and pats the floor next to her. She pulls out all the cups and bowls and pours tea into all the cups like she has tea every day. Yesterday, Daddy told her that his tea was too hot, she says "its ok Daddy, i fix it" and put his tea cup in the oven on her play kitchen. We realized tonight when Daddy put her dinner in the fridge for a few minutes to cool it off, that she was doing the same thing to his tea yesterday, having watched me do that a few times.
We only let her take certain sippy cups to her room, as some leak and others don't. When she is watching a movie (aka Tinkerbell) in her room, she will ask for a drink. Then she holds it and asks "room?" asking permission to take the cup to her room. If we say no, she puts it on her table in the kitchen. If we say yes, she takes it to her room, puts it in the cup holder of her way cool OU recliner, climbs in and relaxes with her drink. (Sometimes she does throw a little fit if I say no, but she actually does pretty well...she throws fits about not getting candy almost all the time.. ;))This morning, Daddy was still in bed when me and her were getting ready to go (darn him and his flex days...). She climbed up on the bed and said "me stay here." I joked with her teacher when I stopped in to tell them that she would not be coming to school that she already knows how to sweet talk Daddy into staying home from school .
When I got home from work, I heard her giggling inside the door. I opened it and she yells "Surprise!" Then "Mama...sketties, hurry." Since spaghetti is her all time favorite dinner, as well as Daddy's, I knew that we were having it for dinner and she was excited to tell me about it...and to eat it. She ate almost everything on her plate, with her fork, making a minimal mess. And is drinking from a big girl cup at the table!
It makes my heart happy to see her growing and learning. I love it! I take tons of pictures and cherish every moment, but I am thankful everyday that she is growing into a happy and healthy "little" big girl.
Our prayer every night before we go to bed is "I love you Jesus. Thank you for this day. Bless my Mommy and my Daddy. Keep me happy and healthy. In Jesus Name, Amen!" I am thankful that God knows His great plans for her and is already beginning to work them out in her life!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Not much to say tonight...
I am trying to post something every other day at least, but I am not feeling it tonight. Dani is in bed, Daddy is playing football on the play station, and Mama needs to go to bed. I am super tired for some reason today.
But a point to ponder: How do you picture life? What is your life "metaphor?" Is life a party? a race? a battle? a game? a test? a waste? a stepping stone?
Your life metaphor will influence what you do, how you act, and what you treasure.
So.. fill in the blank: Life is ______________.
But a point to ponder: How do you picture life? What is your life "metaphor?" Is life a party? a race? a battle? a game? a test? a waste? a stepping stone?
Your life metaphor will influence what you do, how you act, and what you treasure.
So.. fill in the blank: Life is ______________.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Lil Miss's 2nd Birthday!
Today we celebrated Lil Miss’s 2nd Birthday. We had a great time. It is 
days like today that I am truly, truly grateful for my family and friends. My family from Tulsa came down before lunch, Tony’s family came around lunch time, and we had some friends from here join us for the party. Tinkerbell 2011 was a success! I sat down at 7:30 after everyone had gone, and realized all I had eaten all day was part of a hamburger, a piece of cake, and a half a dozen little smokies.
We tried to encourage less gifts for this birthday. She has more toys and clothes than she needs and it is more important and awesome to be able to spend time with friends and family. Thank you to all for what she did get today. She got her more loving family rooms for her dollhouse (which she already loves), a Little Mommy doll (which Megan said was on clearance… and I understand why…it talks every time it moves..lol. It says cute things like “I want to play with Mama.”), a Build-A-Bear gift certificate (I think she will really like doing that…2 is going to be so much fun), a Princess CD
player, a talking horsey that she can ride on (the kind with the springs), a cool Elmo that you build out of blocks, some Tinkerbell odds and ins… and a Ford F150 Power Wheels (which was a joint gift from many family members). I think she had a good time. My mom later told me that she looked like she was in awe the whole time... that made me feel good. :) More than anything, I just want to make these memories happy for her. That is the important thing. Happy memories, security, love, and space to learn and grow.
days like today that I am truly, truly grateful for my family and friends. My family from Tulsa came down before lunch, Tony’s family came around lunch time, and we had some friends from here join us for the party. Tinkerbell 2011 was a success! I sat down at 7:30 after everyone had gone, and realized all I had eaten all day was part of a hamburger, a piece of cake, and a half a dozen little smokies.We tried to encourage less gifts for this birthday. She has more toys and clothes than she needs and it is more important and awesome to be able to spend time with friends and family. Thank you to all for what she did get today. She got her more loving family rooms for her dollhouse (which she already loves), a Little Mommy doll (which Megan said was on clearance… and I understand why…it talks every time it moves..lol. It says cute things like “I want to play with Mama.”), a Build-A-Bear gift certificate (I think she will really like doing that…2 is going to be so much fun), a Princess CD
player, a talking horsey that she can ride on (the kind with the springs), a cool Elmo that you build out of blocks, some Tinkerbell odds and ins… and a Ford F150 Power Wheels (which was a joint gift from many family members). I think she had a good time. My mom later told me that she looked like she was in awe the whole time... that made me feel good. :) More than anything, I just want to make these memories happy for her. That is the important thing. Happy memories, security, love, and space to learn and grow.I have never really thrown a birthday party before today. Last year, when she turned one, we did more of a family dinner with cake and presents. We had 6 little guests under the age of 3, 4 more under the age of 12, and my teenage nephew (any more I count him as one
of the adults). 
We would have had four more kids at the party, but they had to cancel at the last minute. I feel very blessed for Dani that she has so many cousins her age and that we have some friends who have kids her age. I love getting them all together to play, and I know it will be more important to continue that as they get older.
It has been a crazy two years. Dani has come a long way, and I think she is an amazing, happy, well-rounded, and intelligent little girl. I am beyond blessed to have the responsibility and opportunity to be her parent. God has entrusted us with one of His most precious. I pray for strength and wisdom to teach her and help her grow!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Unselfish acts
Ok, so Lil Miss had a "closure" visit with her birth mother yesterday. This visit went ok because Lil Miss is an amazing loving girl and they were at the library that we spend much time, so she was in a comfortable place. The visit is apparently DHS policy and a compromise with a caseworker and birth mother who wanted regular visits to continue after rights have been terminated.
My prayer is that God will work on this woman's heart. As frustrated and angry as I am at this woman, she has given the world a special gift... Lil Miss (and two other children who are as special as she is). I pray that God uses the visit yesterday to help her see that her child is in the right place. That she needs to let her go because that is what is in her best interest. The case worker reported that bio mom made many comments about how smart, well rounded, happy, ect... that Lil Miss is. I pray that this helps her see that her daughter is loved, secure, and well taken care of. I pray that she finds closure and moves on to get help with her own life.
I know that God has a plan for Lil Miss. I know that God is bigger than DHS, the courts, and our own wants, fears, and desires. I am secure in knowing that Lil Miss is in His Big Hands. My heart also aches for closure, so we also can move on. I know it will happen. I know that I do not control the timing.
All of this is in the wake of a stories that has the opposite ending. Stories of unselfish acts by other birth mothers and birth fathers. We recently found out that the other two children who we had in our home for an extended amount of time are either in the process of being adopted by the families they are with and about to be in that process. Both had birth fathers who were terminated by default (didn't make any effort) and birth mothers who relinquished their rights, knowing that their children needed them to let them go. We have friends who recently finalized an adoption of two precious little sisters whose birth mother also made this decision, and another who is going to finalize within the next few months, also after birth parents relinquished.
What an amazing unselfish gift. What a gift to give to your child. As foster parents, we are almost daily frustrated with birth parents and what they do and don't do. But to say "I know I need to let my child, my flesh and blood go so that they can have a life better than I can provide..." Wow. I pray for all those mothers and fathers who have made this choice for whatever reason. I pray that in the end, their will be no regrets. That they will always know they made the right decision.
My prayer is that God will work on this woman's heart. As frustrated and angry as I am at this woman, she has given the world a special gift... Lil Miss (and two other children who are as special as she is). I pray that God uses the visit yesterday to help her see that her child is in the right place. That she needs to let her go because that is what is in her best interest. The case worker reported that bio mom made many comments about how smart, well rounded, happy, ect... that Lil Miss is. I pray that this helps her see that her daughter is loved, secure, and well taken care of. I pray that she finds closure and moves on to get help with her own life.
I know that God has a plan for Lil Miss. I know that God is bigger than DHS, the courts, and our own wants, fears, and desires. I am secure in knowing that Lil Miss is in His Big Hands. My heart also aches for closure, so we also can move on. I know it will happen. I know that I do not control the timing.
All of this is in the wake of a stories that has the opposite ending. Stories of unselfish acts by other birth mothers and birth fathers. We recently found out that the other two children who we had in our home for an extended amount of time are either in the process of being adopted by the families they are with and about to be in that process. Both had birth fathers who were terminated by default (didn't make any effort) and birth mothers who relinquished their rights, knowing that their children needed them to let them go. We have friends who recently finalized an adoption of two precious little sisters whose birth mother also made this decision, and another who is going to finalize within the next few months, also after birth parents relinquished.
What an amazing unselfish gift. What a gift to give to your child. As foster parents, we are almost daily frustrated with birth parents and what they do and don't do. But to say "I know I need to let my child, my flesh and blood go so that they can have a life better than I can provide..." Wow. I pray for all those mothers and fathers who have made this choice for whatever reason. I pray that in the end, their will be no regrets. That they will always know they made the right decision.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Living on purpose is the path to living in peace..
A few years ago during my master's program, we read a book called the "The Power of Being Mindful." I am not sure what class it was in, but the book was about Living Mindfully, or being aware and being in the moment. As a education major, the discussions centered around how to teach our students to be mindful, but it was also one of the books and topics that stuck. We, as a society in general, are multi-taskers. As I am typing this, I have my my computer open to four programs, listening to music, checking my text messages as they come in, and drinking a diet coke. Am I being mindful of all of those tasks at once? Can I be truly mindful of any one of them?
I was watching my daughter tonight watching her Tinker bell Movie. She was completely in the moment, completely mindful of the movie. Her focus was intent. She would not be distracted or swayed. Sometimes, childlike simplicity is the best way to be mindful.
I need to be mindful more often. This afternoon, one of my TA's was talking to me, and I noticed an email and starting reading it at the same time. I finished the email and looked up as she was finishing her comment and was looking at me expectantly, waiting for a response. I had to say "I am so sorry... I was reading this email." My student sitting at the table with us working on Math said "Oh...Burn Mrs Baade..." I should have given her my full attention.
How often do we really live mindfully?
Living mindfully goes hand in hand with living with a purpose. I was created to have purpose and know my purpose. Without living mindfully, I might miss my purpose, but if I am mindful of the wrong things, I may also miss my purpose. Knowing and being mindful of my purpose can help simplify and streamline my life. It also focuses my life. My effort and energy will become concentrated on what is important. "You become effective by being selective." Aimless direction and over committing to things that are not part of my purpose will only pull me down.
"You Lord give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in You." Isaiah 26:3
Point to Ponder from Purpose Driven Life: "You not put on this earth to be remembered. You were put on earth to do your part to make a difference for eternity. What would your friends and family say is your driving force in life?
I was watching my daughter tonight watching her Tinker bell Movie. She was completely in the moment, completely mindful of the movie. Her focus was intent. She would not be distracted or swayed. Sometimes, childlike simplicity is the best way to be mindful.
I need to be mindful more often. This afternoon, one of my TA's was talking to me, and I noticed an email and starting reading it at the same time. I finished the email and looked up as she was finishing her comment and was looking at me expectantly, waiting for a response. I had to say "I am so sorry... I was reading this email." My student sitting at the table with us working on Math said "Oh...Burn Mrs Baade..." I should have given her my full attention.
How often do we really live mindfully?
Living mindfully goes hand in hand with living with a purpose. I was created to have purpose and know my purpose. Without living mindfully, I might miss my purpose, but if I am mindful of the wrong things, I may also miss my purpose. Knowing and being mindful of my purpose can help simplify and streamline my life. It also focuses my life. My effort and energy will become concentrated on what is important. "You become effective by being selective." Aimless direction and over committing to things that are not part of my purpose will only pull me down.
"You Lord give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in You." Isaiah 26:3
Point to Ponder from Purpose Driven Life: "You not put on this earth to be remembered. You were put on earth to do your part to make a difference for eternity. What would your friends and family say is your driving force in life?
Monday, January 3, 2011
You are Not an Accident
Day 1 back at school was good. Students and teachers alike always seem to have a hard time coming back after long breaks. Many students confessed to late night PlayStation Action or too much time texting or simply to use to sleeping til noon (as if two weeks could form a new and lasting habit..... well....maybe two weeks is enough because I had a hard time getting up too), hence the reason they were unable to function and why they forgot all about math. Middle school students are great!
I love Norman Public Schools. I love the things we can offer, the services we can provide. I attended a high school very similar to Norman, so I am a little bias. I have seen some not so good schools. It always makes my heart ache just a little when I see a student with the potential to succeed (but also the potential to fall the other way very quickly) leave us. Not always because where they go is worse or not as good as Norman, but because I don't like not knowing, not being able to help.
I learned today that one of my students, who always brings a smile to my face, transferred to an Oklahoma City school. This student is on the fringes. I am sad to see them go. I pray that they are able to find the right teacher, mentor, and friends at the new school to keep the progress they have made with us going. They has come a long way, with behavior and academics, and I hate to say goodbye. Said student was in our charge for a season... for a purpose.
On a brighter note, I was very excited to speak with our Language Arts Coach today about another one of my struggling students. Said student is probably on a 1st grade reading level, if that. This student struggles with basic phonics and phonemic awareness (all you teacher types will understand) as well as behavior issues. It was good to bounce ideas and get some advice as to how to help. Will this student ever be on grade level enough to pass a standardized test.. maybe, maybe not. Can we help them learn the skills to be successful. Absolutely. Said student has come along way...and I am excited to help them go further!
___________________________________________________________________
Purpose Driven Life Day 2 - Seriously, I think I am getting very sentimental. PDL is a 3 minute little mini-lesson...and every time I think I could write a book about it....
As we march on toward Lil Miss's 2nd birthday, I am amazed at how her little life has been so special and protected. Her birth parents may have thought they "wanted" a baby, a "family," but did not take the steps to protect her before and after she was born. But God knew. I am daily amazed at her progress, her abilities, her smile, her love. She had many things going against her even before she was born, in man's eyes. But in God's eyes, she has always been perfect for His purpose. "You saw me before I was born, every day is recorded in Your book." It was not a mistake that she was born or that she was brought into our lives.
God's motive for creating us was love. God is love. He is perfect love. He didn't make us because He needed more love, but because He wanted us. Being a parent, I see things through a different lens than I ever have before. I can never understand the love God has for me fully, but as I am beginning to understand the love of a parent more every day, I feel myself drawn into a deeper understanding of His love.
One the flip side, it took me a LONG time to understand my purpose and that I was created for God's purpose. Even when I was active in my church youth group, serving overseas on mission trips, and counseling others in His word, I still questioned His purpose for me. Many of my close friends (and now anyone who reads this...) know that for many years, I thought about and even planned how I would take my own life.... and during most of that time, I was serving in my church, praying with teens about these kind of issues in their lives. Ironic huh. I don't know that I would say I was being hypocritical. I believed (as I still do) that Jesus could heal and save others. I just had a hard time believing it for myself. God used good friends and a supportive family to bring me back to my senses, although it was a long and rough process at times. And I would be lying if I said I didn't still think about it on occasion (very rare occasions these days). When I listen to and read about how God has a purpose for my life, I think about how blinded I was by my own shortcomings, my own weakness, and my own emotions. God is the reason I am here, the reason I am who I am.
Isaiah 44:2 "I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born." I praise God that I can finally believe that for myself.
I love Norman Public Schools. I love the things we can offer, the services we can provide. I attended a high school very similar to Norman, so I am a little bias. I have seen some not so good schools. It always makes my heart ache just a little when I see a student with the potential to succeed (but also the potential to fall the other way very quickly) leave us. Not always because where they go is worse or not as good as Norman, but because I don't like not knowing, not being able to help.
I learned today that one of my students, who always brings a smile to my face, transferred to an Oklahoma City school. This student is on the fringes. I am sad to see them go. I pray that they are able to find the right teacher, mentor, and friends at the new school to keep the progress they have made with us going. They has come a long way, with behavior and academics, and I hate to say goodbye. Said student was in our charge for a season... for a purpose.
On a brighter note, I was very excited to speak with our Language Arts Coach today about another one of my struggling students. Said student is probably on a 1st grade reading level, if that. This student struggles with basic phonics and phonemic awareness (all you teacher types will understand) as well as behavior issues. It was good to bounce ideas and get some advice as to how to help. Will this student ever be on grade level enough to pass a standardized test.. maybe, maybe not. Can we help them learn the skills to be successful. Absolutely. Said student has come along way...and I am excited to help them go further!
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Purpose Driven Life Day 2 - Seriously, I think I am getting very sentimental. PDL is a 3 minute little mini-lesson...and every time I think I could write a book about it....
As we march on toward Lil Miss's 2nd birthday, I am amazed at how her little life has been so special and protected. Her birth parents may have thought they "wanted" a baby, a "family," but did not take the steps to protect her before and after she was born. But God knew. I am daily amazed at her progress, her abilities, her smile, her love. She had many things going against her even before she was born, in man's eyes. But in God's eyes, she has always been perfect for His purpose. "You saw me before I was born, every day is recorded in Your book." It was not a mistake that she was born or that she was brought into our lives.
God's motive for creating us was love. God is love. He is perfect love. He didn't make us because He needed more love, but because He wanted us. Being a parent, I see things through a different lens than I ever have before. I can never understand the love God has for me fully, but as I am beginning to understand the love of a parent more every day, I feel myself drawn into a deeper understanding of His love.
One the flip side, it took me a LONG time to understand my purpose and that I was created for God's purpose. Even when I was active in my church youth group, serving overseas on mission trips, and counseling others in His word, I still questioned His purpose for me. Many of my close friends (and now anyone who reads this...) know that for many years, I thought about and even planned how I would take my own life.... and during most of that time, I was serving in my church, praying with teens about these kind of issues in their lives. Ironic huh. I don't know that I would say I was being hypocritical. I believed (as I still do) that Jesus could heal and save others. I just had a hard time believing it for myself. God used good friends and a supportive family to bring me back to my senses, although it was a long and rough process at times. And I would be lying if I said I didn't still think about it on occasion (very rare occasions these days). When I listen to and read about how God has a purpose for my life, I think about how blinded I was by my own shortcomings, my own weakness, and my own emotions. God is the reason I am here, the reason I am who I am.
Isaiah 44:2 "I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born." I praise God that I can finally believe that for myself.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
First Post of 2011
I am listening to a "Purpose Driven Life - Commuter Version". Little snippet devotions once a day for 40 days. I may or may not post my reflections, but I thought it would be a good way to start.
Day 1 - What is your purpose? To discover the purpose of an invention, one must ask the inventor. We may be able to guess at its use, and probably get pretty close. But wouldn't it be better to ask the inventor. I got a Ipad for Christmas. I can honestly say that I have no idea the extent of what it can do... I need to take a trip to the nearest Apple store. I can do some pretty cool stuff, but I haven't unlocked all that it is capable of. In the same light, I think I know part of God's purpose for my life. I think I have accomplished and see some of what He has for me...but I know that what He has in store is bigger than I could ask, think, or imagine and in order to fully understand His purpose for me, I MUST be in contact with Him. I don't fully comprehend His love, grace, mercy, judgment...I might never fully understand it.
Part of my purpose is to seek that out, to have a relationship with Him. God's purpose for me goes beyond my career, my spouse, my day to day. My purpose was chosen for me before I was born. God knew me, knew who I would become, knows my strengths and weaknesses, and even the number of hairs on my head. His purpose for me is for good, to give me a future and a hope. It fits into His bigger plan, far beyond what I can ask or imagine.
Point to Ponder: Its not about me. Ever.
Day 1 - What is your purpose? To discover the purpose of an invention, one must ask the inventor. We may be able to guess at its use, and probably get pretty close. But wouldn't it be better to ask the inventor. I got a Ipad for Christmas. I can honestly say that I have no idea the extent of what it can do... I need to take a trip to the nearest Apple store. I can do some pretty cool stuff, but I haven't unlocked all that it is capable of. In the same light, I think I know part of God's purpose for my life. I think I have accomplished and see some of what He has for me...but I know that what He has in store is bigger than I could ask, think, or imagine and in order to fully understand His purpose for me, I MUST be in contact with Him. I don't fully comprehend His love, grace, mercy, judgment...I might never fully understand it.
Part of my purpose is to seek that out, to have a relationship with Him. God's purpose for me goes beyond my career, my spouse, my day to day. My purpose was chosen for me before I was born. God knew me, knew who I would become, knows my strengths and weaknesses, and even the number of hairs on my head. His purpose for me is for good, to give me a future and a hope. It fits into His bigger plan, far beyond what I can ask or imagine.
Point to Ponder: Its not about me. Ever.
Colossians 1:16: For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.
Since I already missed January 1st, I am not sure if daily blogging is my cup of tea, but we shall see. I felt like I need to commentate on what has been going on in the past year in order to move forward. This is not the whole story, but enough to give a little background. (All names and identities have been changed to protect the innocent).
I honestly can not believe it is already the year 2011. It is ridiculously crazy how fast time has flown. Looking back, the last 18 months of my life have been a crazy roller coaster of emotions and situations. A year ago, we had three children, now we have one. Within the last three years, I have gone from a regular ole' math teacher, to a state curriculum person, to a math and language arts teacher. That in and of itself has been a major learning curve. I struggle daily with knowing if I am doing right by my students, but I just do the best I can and learn as I go. I am thankful to be surrounded by
Mr. T came to us in November 2009, a few weeks before Thanksgiving. Tony picked him up at 7 at night from the NICU where he had spent the first 11 days of life. Mr. T was a drug exposed baby, born to a virtually homeless young mother. He cried, fussed, threw up everything he ate, and was very sensitive to being overstimulated by lights and noise. Mr. T left us almost 5 months later, the week before Easter 2010. When he left, he was finally sleeping through the night, was starting to sit up, and was doing incredibly well. Although I cried when he left, I had a peace about where he was going and we have since learned that the kinship placement he went to is now his forever home. :)
Big Man came to us Sept 1, 2009. He was only going to be with us for a few weeks, because DHS kept saying there was a kinship placement for him.... a few weeks turned into a year (minus a day). Big Man was a lovable, yet sneaky, active, and ornery 5 year old. He was the first child that we tried..I mean tried...to do the "bridge" parenting with his bio mom. We supervised weekly visits with mom, siblings, grandfather, aunts and uncles. We had a family birthday party, thanksgiving dinner, Christmas dinner. We had bio mom out to our home. We met mom two or three times a week to pick up after her unsupervised visits started....and it still all feel apart for her. Big Man is now with a new hopefully "forever family." He is very loved, very well taken care of, and is doing very well, all things considered. I continue to pray for him, his bio family (he has many sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles who all love him), and his new family. What a major adjustment for him and those who love him.
And then there is Lil Miss. Her story is way to long and complicated to even begin to go into here. She has been with us since she was only days old and will be a full fledged two year old in a week. It is our hope and prayer that by the end of 2011, she will be legally ours, however, in our hearts she already is ours.
When Big Man, being 5, came to our home it was obvious that he had a mama that he adored and loved, so the love I have for him was always through that lens. I don't think I ever saw myself as his Mommy and I knew he didn't want me to be his Mommy. I cared for him. Love him still...and always will love him. I wanted to protect him and make sure that everything in his life was working toward the plans God had for him. I tried to help nurture his relationship with his bio mom, as it looked like he would be going home to her. But I never saw him as my son the way I see Lil Miss as my daughter.
With Mr. T, there was more attachment, but I think I always knew that he would not be with us always. I love him and still pray for him and his family often.
With Lil Miss, I loved her like my own from day one. Maybe it was because she was our first foster child. Maybe it was because we were told from day one that she was 99% sure to be going up for adoption due to bio mom's history (and have learned if you ever hear this from a DHS case work...RUN). I guarded my heart as much as I could for the first few months. But by the time she was 5 or 6 months old... I couldn't guard it any more. I couldn't imagine loving a child that I give birth to more than I love her. We have fought hard for Lil Miss. I feel confident we have always fought for her absolute best interest. In the last 18 months, I have relied on God, my husband, my family, and my friends more than I ever have before. And it has been a journey... more to come on that I am sure. ;) But I will leave it at that!
I have rambled enough for tonight. Back to school tomorrow. I love having two weeks off for Christmas...but it makes the going back awful hard. Today was a pretty typical day. Playdoh, painting, lots of babies and dolls, a few times watching Tinkerbell...I hope she does okay at day care tomorrow after two weeks of being with Mama and Daddy.
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